UGGHHH

This post will probaly be really random because I have 1000 thoughts running through my mind. The other day I had a job interview and was excited because for the first time in a year there was a chance I would be working again, due to my epilepsy....I go home tell my mother and she says no that won't work out and gives me all the reasons why and basically lets me know to turn them down if I was to get the job. I mentally begin to break down, because it been almost two months and I've only had one seizure which is great! In my head I'm thinking I can start to live life...but that dream has been shut down. I just go in my room and break down, because I'm back to the realization that I'm stuck in this house once again all day every day with the occasional times I can go to my friends house and watch tv over there. So I decide I need to vent and text a certain person, to sum the convo up he tells me I'm 21 when will I decide to stop living the unhealthy lifestyle of staying in the house all day? stop living off my parents? and become independent? and that overall he's disappointed and has to go! Once again I break down because not only am I not happy with the way things are going but I have someone looking down on me and thinks I'm being lazy and a mooch. That's a hard ass thing to deal with when they know nothing of the situation....its hard as hell to get a job when you can't drive, none of your friends cantake you, and there's no bus. It's hard as hell to stop living off your parents when they feel that's the way you should be and will be living until they feel it's the right time for you to be independent....and it's hard as hell to be independent when you can't even walk up the street by yourself because everyone is scared...so they're sending a "babysitter" with you. I'm 21 and at 18 dreamed that at this age I would be finishing up my 3rd year of an internship but instead I haven't finished up my sophmore year of college yet. I continue to smile because everyday I wake up but my life is not easy for me. I know God works on His own time, it just hurts knowing I may have a while longer before things will start to work themselves out. All I can do is continue to pray and attempt to find success in my situation....I have a feeling that some people might not be able or want to handle my life.....Some things from now on may be better left unsaid :/