God Within

I was having movie night with myself and watched For Colored Girls, which is a real emotional movie. It's full of poetry and very deep, each time I watch it I have to concentrate to try to interprete what the poems are truly saying. One of the most emotional lines for me this time was when one of the ladies wondered how she let her husband abused her and she realized it was because something inside her was missing. She says as some point she went numb and she left her body and saw herself and became wrapped in the sun and the sky laid over her, she was hot and cold, and God entered within her and she loved herself fiercely. So what I took from it is she was missing the spirit of God within herself. Yea she believed but he wasn't in her, his spirit wasn't in her soul. And I don't know what happened but it made me break down crying because I don't know what it's like or how you know when it happens, but I can't wait for that moment when God enters my soul. I believe when it happens I will love myself, I mean everything about me....everything will be beautiful in my eyes. I won't feel any pain or frustration about anything. I'll truly be happy, not only with myself but towards everyone around me. (I'm not saying I don't try to be now, but I feel like when it happens I won't feel the need to cuss anyone out, or get angry so quickly...when problems arise I'll smile and just keep living) I feel like God is blessing me and I may be getting there, and when it happens I'll definetely let you know. I just imagine that feeling is amazing. Watching this movie made me want to write a poem :)